Mental Playlist: Centerfield

Every summer we would head out from wherever we happened to live and point Bertha, the steel gray Chevy Impala, toward St. Louis. We went under the guise of visiting relatives, but the family reunion wasn't the real reason for the trip. We really headed to The Lou to go to a Cards game. Initially, I was interested only in the ballpark cuisine and could have cared less about the game. I spent the majority of my time trying to reason with my parents that I needed both a pretzel with mustard and cotton candy -- and simply could NOT be forced to make such a critical decision at such a young age.

As summers went by, I started to watch the games. I started to run up to the dugout to get autographs (I got Louis DeLeon and Goose Gossage ... apparently, we always sat closer to the visiting team). I started to love the Cardinals. The Wizard, McGee, Herr, Clark, Pendleton, Porter, Van Slyke, Coleman, Tudor, Forsch, Andujar, Herzog (and many more over the years) all played a part.

It got me thinking. What if baseball ran their teams like some radio stations are forced to run today?

It might look something like this:

First things first, Outfield, we're sorry to see you go. Your positions will be covered by Second and Short. Bullpen, we can only keep one of you on and it's going to be whoever is cheapest. We'll also need you to catch. First base is syndicated; try not to throw it there because it's just a cardboard cutout of Albert Pujols. Third, we don't need you because if the Pitcher, Second and Short do their job, no one will get to your base.

As far as coaches, we've eliminated the fluff. You're smart guys, you'll figure out when to run, how to improve your swing and get over whatever mental block may be causing your pitching problem. Your Manager will be watching the game online from our regional hub and will text you instructions to the board over the bleachers in left field.

For those of you remaining, we are going to need you to sell drinks in the stand when you are not on the field or at bat. If you have a problem with that, I'm sure the Third Baseman would be happy to step in.

Now let's get out there and play hard! We have to get butts in the seats people and nothing does that like a World Series win! If for some reason we don't get the title this year, we will be forced make some drastic changes. Think balls made out of foam rubber and hollow plastic bats.

I think our summer trips would have played out much differently if that was what we had to look forward to.